01
Session
Pre-Market
Fair launch. No team tokens. LP burned. Contract renounced. The tape is clean before the bell.
The Degen Times
Monday Edition
Solana
Vol. I No. 21
Jean Phil Retard
$JEANRETARD
The desk never blinks. The chart already knows the name.
Jean Phil sits the open in his best jacket and treats every wick like a personal slight. Zero fear. Negative patience. He bought the top, sold nothing, and the furniture became folklore.
Ca
CA_PLACEHOLDER
01
The Desk
About the trader
Jean Phil Retard day-trades with zero fear and a deficit of patience. He opens the laptop before the coffee cools and buys as if the green candle asked him first. The tie stays tied. The session does not.
He bought the top. He sold nothing. The desk became a legend while the notes from the analysts piled up unread. They hate the method. They cannot explain the chair that never empties.
The chart fears him the way a quiet room fears a slammed door. $JEANRETARD is the house style of a man who day-trades SOL, misses every exit, and still dresses for the close.
02
Market Agenda
The Trading Day
02
Session
Opening Bell
Community. Memes. Raids. The first prints hit and the desk leans in.
03
Session
Rally
CEX listings. Partnerships. Volume finds the chair and refuses to leave.
04
Session
Moon Close
The final bell rings on the moon. Jean Phil does not stand up.
03
Broker Pad
The Order Ticket
01
Side
Open
Get a Solana wallet
Install Phantom. This is the window. No booth, no fill.
02
Fund
Sol
Load it with SOL
Deposit SOL. An empty ticket does not print.
03
Venue
Pump
Swap SOL for $JEANRETARD
Buy on Pump.fun. Same desk. Same bad timing. Better jacket.
04
Time
Gtc
Hold like the bell never rings
Do not flatten. Jean Phil did not. The close is a rumor.
04
Market Page